Pondering..

Hey Bloggers!!
Do you ever have so much on your mind that you stay up in bed just thinking?? Oh my gosh!! That is totally me right now!! I know I just need to write it all down so my mind can just STOP.. Tonight when I got home I stayed in my car for forty five minutes just thinking before I realized I had been in my car for that long!! Haha I know that makes me sound like a big weirdo..This weekend I saw the movie called, "The fault in our stars" like every other girl. And yes, I did cry.. A lot. It really got me thinking about life and what i believe, as cheesy as that sounds!! I wont give the movie away but it is about people that fight cancer. Then today I witnessed the aftermath of a terrible accident were people lost their lives.. I have felt so many different emotions that it makes it hard to even explain. So many people lose loved ones to cancer every day, so many people die in car accidents every day, so many people face thee hardest trials of their lives every day and so many of these people have to go through these trials without the gospel and without the knowledge that families can be together forever. When I stop and think about that I seriously feel my heart break..  I feel so so so blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. How in the world did I get so lucky?? Billions of people are going through life without the GREATEST blessing! I wish there was a way that everyone could taste of the truthfulness right now! I have been taking the gospel for granted and I am so mad at myself for it. I just want to be the best I can be..
I want to read my scriptures more.. I want to prayer more.. I want to attend the temple more.. I want to serve.. I want to love my enemies.. I want to be better because of all that I have been given!! I am only twenty 22 years old so I know I am going to face a ton more trials in my life but I know through those hard times i will be able to rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. He died for me personally and knows exactly what I am going through.. He knows what all of us are going through.. No one is ever alone!! If you arent a part of this church and you want to know more, read the Book of Mormon and pray if it is true. I promise you will get your answer and feel Gods love. I am kind of obsessed with this gospel. It is too legit to quit! It is real and it changes lives.. It changes me!

Nothings changed.

Hello Bloggers.. Sorry I havent blogged since Thanksgiving. I usually dont blog because my life is the same. IT NEVER CHANGES! Every morning I wake up at 8:25 and realize I have to be to work in five minutes. I brush my teeth and throw my hair up into a bun as I rush outside in whatever I wore to bed the night before and quickly debate whether I should take my car or take the bike. I usually take the bike because my gas light is on and I work two minutes away so I feel like a lazy butt if I drive my car! I then pull out my Dr. Dre beats which are actually headphones I got from walmart for five bucks and jam to Kelly Clarkson for the next two minutes while cruisin to work. When I get to work I am approached by a beautiful seventeeth month old that calls me, "titty" which seems a little provocative but he cant pronounce my name yet so titty will have to work! I love my job. I am not gonna lie, I am a pretty fun nanny. 4:30 rolls around and its time to go home! I shower and get ready for the"game night" which actually consists of no games. People just stand around and talk. Thats something that took me awhile to get used to. Its actually surprisingly fun if you enjoy meeting new people. I get home and go to bed between 1:00-2:00am. Wake up and start over.
My life probably seems lame but I love it. I have so much to be grateful for. Life is about to get even better because I am moving out of my parents house. I wont be able to ride my bike to work but thats okay... Oh and dont think I am giving up on school.. I am going back next semester to work on my degree. It is so exciting when you finally figure out what you want to be. Years of searching and I finally decided I want to be a "Child life Specialist". You work in childrens hospitals to help the children and parents cope in a bunch of different ways with whatever illness the child has. Perfect job for me. I love children and I love helping people. Well I will try to be better at blogging but no promises! Peace.

Almost Thankgiving...

What it do??
It is a great day to be alive and let me just say I am so glad that I am still alive. I have been sick for 10 freaking days now and it suckssss.. Everyday I wake up sick is another day I wake up hating the world. Just kidding! It really isnt that bad. I just cant breathe so that is annoying as fetching crap! I hope i am better by tomorrow because I really like turkey and I want to stuff my face! When I think of Thankgiving I think of how I would hide out in the bathroom so I didnt have to help cook and set the table. All that shiz is not my cup of tea. I usually just make the mash potato's because all you do is mash them, add milk, add butter and then BAM! Since it is almost Thanksgiving I should probably tell you what I am grateful for.

1. Family.

2. The Gospel.

3. Friends

(I have alot more friends but I couldnt find pictures!)

 

 

4. My Job.

5. Education

These are just acouple things I am grateful for.

                       

Updated this shiz..

Yo homies!! What it do?? So life is pretty good. It is actually great! I can not complain. I have an amazing job that I love. This may sound weird but it is totally preparing me for motherhood! I have learned so much..Man I am so excited to be a mom someday. I hope I am the best at it! My hours are awesome because I get off early enough to have a social life too! Pretty amazing right?? It is pretty easy to have a social life in Mesa. There is always someone new to meet. Since I moved here I haven't spent very many nights at home! A party animal is what they call me! Haha... I feel bad for ever judging the people of Mesa. Some may have different life styles and interests but Holy crapola I have met some of the best people here! I have so many good friends. I didn't realize that until I went through hard trials with my brother and I had tons of people reaching out to me. Friends make this world go round! Okay so everyone always wants an update with my dating life. Well I go on dates weekly so that is good but I am still single. Sometimes I feel like I like the single life too much! That's bad.. I know! The prophet wants us to get married so that is what I should be doing for cute little Tommy Monson but marriage is scary! We are talking about freaking eternity here. Sometimes I get the question, "what do you want?" Ughh... I hate to say this but I am one of those girls that wants what I cant have. THEN once I get what I couldn't have.. I don't want it anymore! Girls, how do you over come that whole thing?? Cause it is a problem! Haha. I literally get annoyed of myself daily. If I don't understand myself how am I gonna expect men to understand me. They are already stupid as it is. Is it bad to say I want to date someone similar to myself?? People say opposites attract which may be true but I don't want someone super different from me.. I want someone that is super into the gospel and they follow the commandments but they can also party. Sometimes I will pill out of the church parking lot listening to my humps, or act like someone spiked the punch at a YSA activity. I want someone like that. Someone that will make me laugh for eternity, Someone I am never bored with! I am not a desperate 22 year old so I will take my time finding that guy. Until then I will be living the single life.. Oh and I am going to Europe next Thursday so I will have to tell you all about that in my next blog update. Man I have a good life. I hope all is well with all of you.

My new life!!

Hey all you blog readers!!! It has been way too long and I am so sorry!! So much about my life has changed.. Actually everything about my life has changed. It is scary but it is also refreshing. I just moved to Mesa Arizona a couple weeks ago and it is so different here! To start off I moved back in with my parents.. When you move in with your parents it makes you feel like you are taking a step back but I am saving money so bring it on.They are actually totally cool with me staying here. They even said they want me to stay living here until I get married, and they meant it!They are gonna regret that when I am 35 and still not married. Our neighborhood is really nice and we have a house with a pool. The only part about our neighborhood that sucks is the stupid gate. You have to put a code in and then it opens at a speed of -15mph. One time I got so annoyed of waiting that I tried to fit through before it was fully open and I hit the gate with my car.. Opps! No damage though. Before I got a job I spent my days in the pool and going down the waterslide. It is a pretty sweet slide. Sometimes I even go down on my stomach! Thats wuzzup! I just started working at a place called Gutherie Mainstreams. It is a center where you work with disabled kids. All my friends asks me if I work there or if I am a new client!!Haha very funny!..NOT! It is a lot harder than you would think. These kids have a hard time communicating what they want so they usually express themselves by running off, hitting, crying, or yelling! In those moments I think to myself , "What am I doing here??" but the job isnt all bad. There is actually a lot more good and it is very rewarding. I have only worked there a week but I feel so attached to these kids already. One day I was having a really hard time with one of my clients. I honestly just wanted to go home and cry. Before his grandpa come to pick him up he got tired so we went in the blue room and laid down so he could take a nap. We laid there facing eachother in silence. When I looked at him he had the biggest smile and he looked like there was no place he would rather be. Lying there with him smiling so big at me like that made me teary eyed. I wish everyone were more like these kids. They are amazing! Their whole lives are a trial and they still find time to smile. Kids with disabilities are some of the strongest and smartest people I know. I think Heavenly father picked the strongest people to come down to earth and have disabilities. I know when they make it through this life their Heavenly Father is gonna be waiting there with open arms! It is so cool to think that they will be perfected one day. It is such a rewarding job!! I love it. Another good thing about my job is I am done everyday by five which means I can still have a social life. I have met SOO many people, more people than I thought I would this early on. Because there are so many people in this huge city I get invited to tons of things and they are all fun! This is definitely a place where you have to go out of your way to met people but that is ok! I have always loved that. The only thing about mesa that I dont really like is the fact that so many people care about the way they are viewed by others. I am not like that at all. Everyone here has to have the nicest clothes and the nicest car and then here I am cruising in my beat up haundi that has no AC (which totally sucks by the way) and one of my favorite shirts is 2 sizes too big with a picture of a pig on it. I got it at wal-mart! And yes, I do shop at wal-mart! One night I went to a party and I was one of the only girls that ate cake! That freaked me out! It is FREAKING CAKE people! and IT WAS FREE.. All the girls had rockin bodies and were still worried about what they eat. Weird. I guess not everyone is as weird as me. I like it here though. It is growing on me and I havent ran into too many pretty boys! THANK GOODNESS! I do miss Thatcher so much but something I realized is happiness isnt about where you are it is about your attitude. So I am gonna keep a great attitude gosh dang it. I love Mesa, Az!

Dont they looks so happy to have me back? (I dont look too happy though haha)

Gotta love Revelation.

2012 was the best year of my life and the worst year of my life. I have never cried as much as I did this last year, but I also have never laughed as much as I had this last year! Isnt that life though?? We are gonna go through trials to realize how good we have it when we are blessed. One thing I had to rely on a lot this last year was revelation from God. I learned that if I put all I have into him, He is going to put all he as into me! I had to learn to have faith in my Heavenly Father and to know that he has a plan for me. For almost a year I prayed about one specific thing every night. I really wanted my answer and I never felt like I got one. I was really discouraged and felt like my question I had been asking wasnt important to God. I didnt understand why this question wasnt important to him because it was a huge decision that was going to effect me for eternity.I am sure it would have been hard for anyone to see the sight of me kneeling by my bed pleading to my Heavenly father, begging him to give me Guidance. I remember praying and then just sitting in the darkness of my room waiting for an answer. After having a feeling of nothingness for serveral minutes I would get angry. I remember bounding my fist on my bed and crying out loud. I knew I couldnt do it without him. I was willing to do whatever he wanted me to do if I could just get my answer. Through this experience I was just waiting for God to tell me what to do. That is not know it works. You have to make a choice and then ask your Father in Heaven if it is right. So I made a choice not knowing if it was the right choice or the wrong one. All I knew is Heavenly father wouldnt let me get too far without letting me know what I was doing was probably not the best thing for me. Revelation happens in so many ways and it can be hard to distinguish. Something I did after I made my choice is pray and say, "Heavenly Father if this is not right put a stumbling block in the way to let me know it is not right." Within 12 hours of my prayer a stumbling block appeared. I choice to ignore this revelation thinking it was just ironic timing. But everytime I said that prayer a stumbling block would indead appear in my path. I was mad that these stumbling blocks kept appearing because I was happy and thought I made the right choice. .. But I didnt make the right choice! I made the wrong one and I was able to realize that through the power of revelation. It was the hardest trial i have ever been through. I had to give up something I loved so much for something I knew was right. I am so glad our heavenly father doesnt tell us what to do. I am so glad I got to make my own choice and learn from it. Sometimes I forgot God was there, but he was there the whole time. Revelation is such a powerful thing and I am so happy to have it in my life. At the time I didnt know why Heavenly Fathers plan for me was different from the plan I wanted but I now know. I am so much happier now and I am so confident in the path I decided to take. The right path!

Come what may and love it.

Okay all of you blog readers... It has been way too long. I just sat at my computer for almost an hour updating this blog. When I read it back to myself I just found it to be depressing. Who whats to hear about all the things that are going wrong in someones life? Well freak! I know I don't. My life has been so good. I have had so many blessings throughout my life. Sometimes it is really hard to focus on all of the things we have. I feel like we spend more time focusing on things we don't have. I know I sometimes do that. How selfish could I be? I am going through a pretty hard trial right now and I went to my bishop for guidance. He helped me so much! He told me I need to have more faith in my heavenly father! Everything is going to be okay. This is such a hard time for Young Single Adults because we are trying to figure out who we are going to marry, what we are going to major in and where we are going after we leave EAC! The attitude I have right now is, "Bring it on!" I can take anything that comes my way if I remember the words that Wirthlin spoke, "Come what may and love it!" Find the best in every situation and just love your life. I have been so blessed in mine. As many of you know(and if you don't already) I was dating an incredible boy off and on for almost a year and it ended. We both believe it was for the best! I don't know if this is just time to figure out how much we really need each other or if it is a time to move on and find someone else. All I know is that everything will work out for the best if I am doing my best. Don't spend all your time being sad. That just makes you seem ungrateful for all the things your father in Heaven has given you! I am so happy and I am so bumped to see how my life turns out. Come what may and love it!