Thursday, January 3, 2013
2012 was the best year of my life and the worst year of my life. I have never cried as much as I did this last year, but I also have never laughed as much as I had this last year! Isnt that life though?? We are gonna go through trials to realize how good we have it when we are blessed. One thing I had to rely on a lot this last year was revelation from God. I learned that if I put all I have into him, He is going to put all he as into me! I had to learn to have faith in my Heavenly Father and to know that he has a plan for me. For almost a year I prayed about one specific thing every night. I really wanted my answer and I never felt like I got one. I was really discouraged and felt like my question I had been asking wasnt important to God. I didnt understand why this question wasnt important to him because it was a huge decision that was going to effect me for eternity.I am sure it would have been hard for anyone to see the sight of me kneeling by my bed pleading to my Heavenly father, begging him to give me Guidance. I remember praying and then just sitting in the darkness of my room waiting for an answer. After having a feeling of nothingness for serveral minutes I would get angry. I remember bounding my fist on my bed and crying out loud. I knew I couldnt do it without him. I was willing to do whatever he wanted me to do if I could just get my answer. Through this experience I was just waiting for God to tell me what to do. That is not know it works. You have to make a choice and then ask your Father in Heaven if it is right. So I made a choice not knowing if it was the right choice or the wrong one. All I knew is Heavenly father wouldnt let me get too far without letting me know what I was doing was probably not the best thing for me. Revelation happens in so many ways and it can be hard to distinguish. Something I did after I made my choice is pray and say, "Heavenly Father if this is not right put a stumbling block in the way to let me know it is not right." Within 12 hours of my prayer a stumbling block appeared. I choice to ignore this revelation thinking it was just ironic timing. But everytime I said that prayer a stumbling block would indead appear in my path. I was mad that these stumbling blocks kept appearing because I was happy and thought I made the right choice. .. But I didnt make the right choice! I made the wrong one and I was able to realize that through the power of revelation. It was the hardest trial i have ever been through. I had to give up something I loved so much for something I knew was right. I am so glad our heavenly father doesnt tell us what to do. I am so glad I got to make my own choice and learn from it. Sometimes I forgot God was there, but he was there the whole time. Revelation is such a powerful thing and I am so happy to have it in my life. At the time I didnt know why Heavenly Fathers plan for me was different from the plan I wanted but I now know. I am so much happier now and I am so confident in the path I decided to take. The right path!